


The Past Comes Sneaking Up

by gardenofmaris



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, HIV/AIDS, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Not A Happy Ending, past Rentboy Eggsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 18:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6531589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardenofmaris/pseuds/gardenofmaris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You're sick Eggsy.”</p><p>Eggsy's heart dropped and fear clawed its way up his throat, threatening to clamp down and rid him of air, but he shoved it down and tried not to let it show. “Of course I'm fucking sick. They don't put healthy people in hospitals, Harry. What am I sick with, and how do I get rid of it?”</p><p>“I'm afraid matters are much more complicated than that, Mr. Unwin.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean Anthony Baker cost Eggsy a lot, but no one thought he could cost Eggsy his life</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Past Comes Sneaking Up

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to write my first angst fic  
> I see so many rentboy Eggsy fics where he came out physically undamaged, and I wanted to explore something where it really messed up his body

Eggsy blinked blearily, eyes heavy as he opened them in what felt like ages. He reached up to rub at his eyes, frowning when the IV bumped into his face and sent a wave of soreness running through the vein in his hand. Shaking his head, he did his best to keep his eyes open and turned to the light sound of snoring that was coming from beside the bed.

“Haz?” Eggsy was shocked at how raspy his voice sounded, but it probably had to do with how dry his throat felt. He tried swallowing, and it helped some, but he still really felt like shit.

He didn't feel as shitty as Harry looked, though. Eggsy's mentor was slumped over in a chair, face swollen and blotchy with red spots, body twisted in a way that suggested he'd been tossing and turning in the chair, the thought of which made Eggsy wince in sympathy.

Realizing that for whatever strange reason he was in a hospital bed, Eggsy fumbled his hands around the bed before finally finding the little remote and pressing the “Call Nurse” button. Feeling tired and worn out, he huffed out a loud breath and let himself fall back from the halfway sitting position he'd put himself in.

A nurse burst into the room with some doctor or another and immediately started bombarding Eggsy with questions. Was there any pain? How bad was it? Where was it located? Was there anything he needed to be more comfortable? Respectively, he answered yes, 4, his head, and his throat was dry. The nurse nodded and continued writing his vitals on the clipboard that she held in her hand, asking someone Eggsy didn't see to please hand Mr. Unwin the cup of water next to him.

Seconds after the request, a hand landed on his arm and Eggsy looked over, shocked at the sudden touch, to see Harry awake and offering him a cup with a straw in it. He went to reach for the cup, but he was so tired that his hands were shaking and he couldn't hold it properly, so Harry held it while he sipped slowly from the straw. All Eggsy wanted was to slurp down as much water as he could, but he'd been in the hospital a few times and he knew the drill: don't make yourself sick.

“Thanks Haz.” He smiled at Harry and felt the familiar flutter of his heart when Harry smiled back and reached out to hold one of his shaking hands to help warm it up.

“You are most welcome Eggsy my dear.”

Eggsy blinked and let go of the straw, nodding at Harry that he could put it up for the moment.

As soon as Harry was turned back to him, he had to know. “Haz, what's wrong with me? Why am I here? I just passed out, is all. Ain't nuffin that some sugar and rest won't help. There's really no need for me to be in the hospital.”

If Eggsy thought that Harry looked bad before, that was nothing compared to the utter despair that appeared on Harry's face at Eggsy's words. He looked as if he was going to burst into tears, and wasn't that the strangest thing? No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't imagine Harry Hart crying. Although, guessing by how much in a state he looked, he'd already been crying for a while.

“Eggsy,” Harry started, before clearing his throat. It didn't help though, because his voice sounded just as broken as before. “You can no longer be a Kingsman.”

Eggsy's heart turned to stone and plunged to his stomach. “No,” he whispered. “No, Haz, I have to be a Kingsman. How else am I gonna give Mum and Daisy what they need? I can't go back to where you found me, not now that I know what I could do. Please, Haz, don't kick me out.”

“I'm sorry, Eggsy, but we have to do whatever we can to preserve your health. Please, Eggsy, just listen.”

Eggsy's despair threatened to overtake him, but he refused to let it get to him. Knowing that begging would only make him feel worse, he decided to go on the offensive. “I would listen if it sounded like you were going to tell me straight out what's happening. The fuck are you going on about? 'Preserve my health.' I'm doing perfectly fine, thank you. So why the fuck am I getting kicked out?”

Harry rubbed at his face, and somehow Eggsy knew that the action was rooted in nervousness and trepidation, not annoyance. That terrified him. He didn't want to fucking be here. He just wanted to know what the hell was wrong with it and then take something to make it better and go back to the barracks so that he could continue in the selection process.

“God fucking damn it, Harry, tell me right the fuck now or I'm going back to the barracks.”

“You're sick Eggsy.”

Eggsy's heart dropped and fear clawed its way up his throat, threatening to clamp down and rid him of air, but he shoved it down and tried not to let it show. “Of course I'm fucking sick. They don't put healthy people in hospitals, Harry. What am I sick with, and how do I get rid of it?”

“I'm afraid matters are much more complicated than that, Mr. Unwin.”

Both Eggsy's and Harry's heads swiveled towards the door when they heard the unfamiliar voice, and the doctor strode in.

“The fuck you mean by that?” Eggsy moved to sit up in the bed, nodding a terse thanks as Harry helped him. “I've only had a bit of a cough lately. No fever, no coughing up blood, just a cold that's a little bit worse than normal, that's all. It wasn't even bad enough that I had to stay off of training, it was just a little bit harder to breathe. Well, up until I was out running with the others and I couldn't get enough air so I passed out. But that was one time.”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, Merlin informed us of this when he brought you in, because your breathing sounded too off to him. It's a good thing he brought you in, too, because otherwise your condition would have simply escalated. Mr. Unwin, you have the beginning of a bacterial bronchitis infection. You have probably only had it for about a month. The proper antibiotics have been administered through your IV, and I have written a prescription for you so that you may get rid of this particular disease. However, in doing other cursory tests, we noticed something strange. Your white blood cell count is down far too much for it to be healthy. While you were out, we took some blood and sent it to be tested. The results confirmed what we had suspected. You've been infected with human immunodeficiency virus, more commonly known as HIV. It seems that you were one of the cases in which the disease was asymptomatic, up until the point that your immune system was weak enough that the bronchitis could sneak its way in. We are going to put you on a regimen of antiretroviral drugs, which the nurse will explain to you in more detail. First, however, you will probably need some time to process this. The nurse will be in to see you in around half an hour.”

Blood rushed in Eggsy's ears and he didn't even notice when the doctor left the room, he was so busy trying to wrap his head around what had just been said.

HIV.

No.

_No._

This wasn't supposed to be how it happened.

He wasn't supposed to be that prostitute who got HIV and died and never got a chance at life. If this had happened months before, when he'd been no one, done nothing, had nothing, it wouldn't have surprised him. But now, now that he knew he was somebody, that he was worth something, that he was capable of becoming a Kingsman agent and helping to save the world, he couldn't fucking believe it.

Nausea erupted in his stomach and he couldn't help it. Leaning over the side of the bed that was on the other side of Harry, Eggsy vomited what little was in his stomach, not stopping until his dry heaving made him feel as if his very intestines were going to spew out of his mouth. A warm, firm hand rested on his back, rubbing itself in soothing circles and helping him to stop.

“Harry,” he gasped, wiping his mouth and turning towards the man who he knew could make it all better, reaching out for him like a child. “Harry, please, help me.”

He felt Harry's arms wrap around his torso and heard his sweet voice sound close to his ear. “Come on, my dear boy, let's get your mouth rinsed out.”

As Harry helped him out of bed, he heard the static crackle of a nurse's voice come out of the remote, asking if they needed anything. Judging by Harry's lack of surprise and the smooth way that he responded that they would need brand new sheets and a mop, he had been the one to press the call button.

 _Someone will be right in with you._ Click.

He shrugged his body out from Harry's arm when he stood up and distantly took note of his shaky legs, probably a result of the shock he'd received from news he had yet to fully digest as well. A cough racked his body and he bent over, covering his face with his gown and grimacing when it was over. That cough had been worse than any of the other previous ones, and it had physically hurt his chest. Worse yet, it had quite obviously upset some of the phlegm he had trapped in his lungs, and now the back of his throat was rank with the taste of mucous mixed in with stomach acid and bile.

Gagging again, he wobbled over to the bathroom as quickly as possible and cleaned out his mouth vigorously, sighing in relief when he couldn't taste anything in his mouth anymore and leaning heavily against the wall.

“Harry,” he called out softly, sagging against the wall when Harry poked his head into the bathroom in response. “Can you help me back to the bed? I'm tired.”

Had it been anyone but Harry, Eggsy would have sucked it up and gone back to the bed himself without help. But this was Harry. Harry wouldn't pity him. Harry wouldn't look down on him for needing help. Harry loved him, even if not in the way that Eggsy wanted him to. So he let himself lean on Harry as he walked back towards the bed on shaky legs, the nurse just finishing up in changing the sheets and moving on to mop up the mess on the floor. Seeing as how she wasn't completely done yet, Harry instead ushered Eggsy over to the chair he'd been sleeping in and sat him down, sitting on the arm rest himself.

“Do you need anything, Eggsy?”

Eggsy shook his head and closed his eyes, leaning against Harry. “I just wanna sleep, Haz, and forget about this for a little bit.”

A warm feeling bloomed in his chest as Harry ran his fingers through his hair and scratched at his scalp, and he smiled despite how utterly shitty he felt. “As soon as the floor is cleaned up, you can take a nap until the other nurse gets here, okay?”

It was probably how utterly safe he felt with Harry so close to him that prompted him to ask, “Will you lay down with me? I don't want to feel alone right now.”

Eggsy knew he wasn't imagining the rough shakiness of Harry's voice when he responded, “Of course, Eggsy. Anything.”

He was already starting to doze off as Harry finally ushered him up and into the bed, before Harry himself squeezed into the bed and held Eggsy close to his chest. Already half asleep, he later chalked it up to his willful imagination when he thought he heard Harry say, “You'll never be alone Eggsy, because you'll always have me.”

~ ~ ~

Eggsy woke not too long later by Harry shaking him gently, softly telling him that the nurse had arrived with his first dose of pills. He woke up and groggily sat up, reaching out to grab Harry and ask him if he could please stay there when he made a move to leave. It surprised him to no end when Harry agreed, but he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and leaned against him as he took the pills and listened intently to what the nurse had to say.

He sat through the entire explanation of what the nurse told him about the pills and took note of some of the most important things, nodding along to indicate that he understood. When she asked if he had any questions, he only had one.

“When do I get to go home?”

The nurse smiled at him. “I'm not sure, Mr. Unwin,” he replied. “But if you would like, I can speak to the doctor and see what he would like to do. How's that sound.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.”

As the nurse left with a small chuckly, Eggsy turned to Harry. “Think you can spare me a ride home? I need to be with Mum and Daisy. I can do without my stuff, except for maybe JB. I still want to keep him.”

“Of course you will keep JB. Once a puppy is chosen, they belong to that recruit regardless of how the training goes for them. As for your home, you will not be returning there. I don't want you anywhere near that piece of shit that passes for your stepfather. As it is, he's probably already being arrested due to an anonymous tip on many things that he's been involved in, and the evidence trail has not only come back up to point at him, but it is quite damningly good, even if I do say so myself. House wise, I have contacted Merlin, and we're giving you a house to repay for having to remove you from Kingsman training. In the meantime, however, while it is being furnished, you, your mother, and your sister will all stay in my house.” He seemed to preen under Eggsy's look of amazement.

As grateful as he was, though, Eggsy couldn't stop himself from asking. “Why?”

“Well, my house is quite large-”

“No, not why your house,” he interrupted. “I mean, why are you going through all this trouble for me, Harry? It's okay. I can go back there. I lived through it before, I'll be okay now.”

Harry shook his head adamantly and gestured around them. “Look around you, Eggsy. Look at where we are. You're here because of me. You're here because I doomed an innocent man to die with a stupid mistake, and I've doomed you too. You shouldn't have had to get on your knees for men who could never deserve the right to touch you or even look at you. I left you and your mother behind that day with nothing but a medal, and this right here is the product of that. You deserved so much better, Eggsy, and I doomed you.”

Eggsy's heart broke at seeing how much this was affecting Harry. Turning fully towards him, he reached out to cup Harry's face. “Harry, please, listen to me. You're talking nonsense. You had no idea this would happen, and honestly, you were under no obligation to make our lives better. Me or mum could have used that favor beforehand to get out of that life, but we didn't. We were okay, Harry. If my being here is anyone's fault, it's Dean's. And you're getting rid of him. That more than makes it up to me, Harry.”

Harry's eyes closed and Eggsy felt his heart close to bursting with how much affection and love he held for the man in front of him. “If anything, Harry, you saved me.”

He pulled Harry close when the first tears leaked out from beneath his eyelids and cried with him, heart yearning for what he could never have.

~ ~ ~

Eggsy yawned at the breakfast table, jolting when his medication alarm went off and pulling the right one out of the little medicine sack he kept latched to his pants. He shook his head to try to wake himself up after he took it and smiled gratefully at Harry when a plate full of delicious looking food was set down in front of him. “Thanks, Haz. Looks amazing.”

“You are quite welcome, Eggsy.” He motioned towards the stove. “I covered the rest so that Michelle and Daisy can have some when they come down. I'm sure they're both exhausted after yesterday.”

Eggsy laughed around a mouthful of food and swallowed, smiling brightly at Harry. “Yeah? Did she enjoy herself at the water park yesterday?”

“She quite loved it, actually.” Harry smiled and got a fond look on his face that Daisy always brought out in him whenever she was mentioned. “She ran around all day and made it a point to go on all of the rides that she could.”

“Even that really fucking tall one?”

Harry laughed. “No, actually, she wasn't allowed to go on it. Something about her being too small. She was quite upset, but there were other water slides that called to her.”

Eggsy shook his head and smiled. “Man, I wish I'd gone. It must have been absolutely wonderful. It also would have been hilarious to see Daisy bossing you around like she always does.”

“I am not bossed around by a four year old, thank you very much,” Harry said primly, taking a bite of his food. “She is just quite persuasive in getting me to do what she wants.”

“Whatever you say, guv.” Rolling his eyes, Eggsy flicked a piece of food at Harry and kept eating, snickering softly at Harry's offended look when said piece of food bounced off of his glasses.

As soon as they were done eating, Harry wrote out a note to Michelle, letting her know that he'd taken Eggsy to his doctor's appointment and led his protege out of the house, cracking subtle jokes the entire way to hide how terrified they both were.

~ ~ ~

Michelle was waiting for them when they got back and she pulled Eggsy into a tight hug before doing the same to Harry. “Thank you for taking him,” she whispered, before pulling away and brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

Nervously, she turned to Eggsy. “What did the doctor say, love?”

Eggsy smiled tiredly. “Well, keeping in good shape and eating right kept my immune system as strong as possible for a while. I'm too close to AIDS for the doctor's comfort, what with having been asymptomatic up until my immune system got so low I caught that bronchitis, but really the only thing I can do is just keep taking my medicine regularly. There's nothing that can be done otherwise, but if everything goes well with the medicine and I don't get sick with anything big, I have up to another good ten years if I'm lucky.”

Michelle pulled Eggsy in for another tight hug, kissing his cheeks repeatedly and stroking his hair, crying profusely.

Eggsy could only imagine how she felt. Sure, ten years was great compared to what he'd been thinking. He'd been worried about that whole 'six months to live' thing, and how possible it had been. Ten years was great compared to that. But thinking about the fact that he probably wouldn't even make it to his forties fucking hurt, and he cursed Dean internally.

Eventually his mom pulled away and kissed his cheeks once more, before beckoning them to the kitchen. “Come on, then, I made us all some lunch. Thank you for breakfast, by the way, Harry. It was great and Daisy loved it. She's been asking about you too.”

No sooner than Michelle mentioned it, they heard Daisy's little toddler shriek of “Hawwy!!” and they heard tiny little running footsteps before she appeared like a flash into the living room and catapulted herself into Harry's arms. Harry leaned down and caught her, raising her up and tossing her lightly into the air, smiling at her little yell of happiness and holding her close to pepper her face with kisses. “Well hello there, Miss Daisy. How are you?”

She smiled. “Good.” Turning, she saw her brother and let out another scream, all three adults wincing slightly but smiling nonetheless. “Egg!” She held out her little hands to him, but shook his head when he went to try to hold her. Laughing, he let her hug him instead and gave her tons of little kisses before she turned back to Harry and began babbling about her day to him.

As they all walked into the kitchen, Eggsy smiled and watched them, knowing two things. Harry would always be there for his family, even long after he was gone. He was also utterly fucked in how much he fucking loved Harry.

~ ~ ~

Later that night, Eggsy wandered around the house barefoot, unable to sleep properly for the millionth time since starting on his medications and too restless to just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling.

He was startled when he finally reached the living room and there, sitting on the couch with a blanket over his lap and a glass of alcohol in his hand, was Harry staring blankly at the TV.

“Haz?” he called out tentatively, not wanting to scare him.

Harry only blinked though, and smiled when he saw Harry standing in the doorway. “Hello, Eggsy. Couldn't sleep?”

Eggsy shook his head.

Harry laughed bitterly, and that noise sounded so wrong coming out of Harry that Eggsy just wanted to wrap him up in his arms and never ever let him go. “Me neither,” Harry admitted and patted the spot on the couch next to him, lifting the blanket. “Come. Join me.”

Sitting down next to him and leaning in instinctively as Harry draped the blanket over him. “Why can't you sleep, Haz?” he asked, voice soft in the silence of the room and rough from fatigue. “I know I've got me those fucking pills that keep me alive but simultaneously tired and unable to sleep. What's up with you? Are you okay?”

Eggsy could see Harry close his eyes and he tucked himself in a little closer to Harry, enjoying the warm feeling that filled his chest when Harry wrapped an arm around him to keep him close instead of pushing him away in the way that Eggsy had so feared. “It was just a bad dream,” Harry whispered, and it sounded as if he was trying to convince himself as well as Eggsy. “Nothing much, but I'm afraid my brain won't let me go back to sleep tonight.” He set the glass he was still holding down. “I thought maybe a nice glass of brandy would help calm my nerves, but alas, it has failed me tonight. I'm afraid that I'm all out of ideas now.”

Eggsy leaned his head against Harry's chest as he spoke, closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation of hearing Harry's voice resound through his chest as well as through the air. “Maybe talking about it will help?” he murmured sleepily. “I mean, you'll be awake for a while, I'm guessing, and I'm comfortable enough here that I'm not leaving anytime soon.”

Harry sighed and Eggsy smiled into his shirt as he felt fingers card themselves throughout his hair, massaging the scalp every once in a while. “That's just the thing, isn't it?” Harry's voice sounded far away and mournful, as if he was reliving something tragic. “I don't want you to leave.”

It sounded as if the admission took a lot out of him, and Eggsy instinctively knew that he wasn't talking about him leaving the couch.

“Whaddaya mean, Haz?” His voice was pitched soft, low, hopeful, and he pulled away so that he could look Harry in the eyes, see his face.

Harry took on an almost desperate look, something akin to what Eggsy assumed that he must look like whenever he laid eyes on Harry.

“My dear boy, can't you see? I'm utterly arse over tits in love with you, and I don't want this sickness to take you from me.” His voice cracked at the very end of his sentence, and Eggsy's heart cracked right along with it.

He wanted to just pull Harry into a kiss, but he wanted to make sure that was what Harry wanted. “I'd really like to kiss you right now,” he whispered and, before the words were fully out of his mouth, Harry's lips finally, blessedly, landed on his.

Someone made a strangled noise into the other's mouth, neither knowing or caring which one of them it was, and Eggsy moved to straddle Harry's lap, arching above him and cupping his face as his mouth opened. He outright moaned at the taste of their tongues colliding, and his hands moved down to hold onto the back of Harry's neck, holding him close and never intending to let go.

When they finally broke away, Eggsy sagged into Harry's chest, eyes closed as he nosed along Harry's jaw and neck, leaving tiny kitten kisses and nips along the skin there. Harry made an indiscernible noise and pulled him closer, hands spanning Eggsy's back in a way that he'd always wanted.

“I'm gonna do everything I can to not leave you, Haz,” Eggsy vowed vehemently into his skin. “I'm gonna fight until I can't anymore, until my body's completely shut down. I'm gonna fight to be here with you, and you can bet I'll drag every fucking second out of fate that I can.”

~ ~ ~

Eggsy kissed Harry sweetly, smiling brightly up and him and holding on to his arm. “Call me when you're back, yeah?”

Harry kissed Eggsy's forehead, cheeks, eyelids, and finally lips before responding with a laugh. “As if you won't be sneaking onto my feed and keeping a close eye on me while I'm out.”

Looking innocent, Eggsy shook his head. “I haven't got a clue what you're on about, bruv.” He flashed Harry a winning smile then, and his heart melted at the smitten and fond smile Harry gave him back. “Okay, okay, yeah you know it.”

Harry turned to the closet next to the front door and pulled a brown suit case out of it, pressing the handle into Eggsy's hand. He wrapped his hand around Eggsy's when Eggsy grabbed it and leaned down for another final kiss before he would leave. “I had a suit made for you. I want you to keep it in our closet and try it on for me when I get back. Sound good?”

“Sounds aces, guv.”

~ ~ ~

“You know,” Michelle's voice came out from where she'd been standing silent through the procedures, rock solid at Eggsy's side, “I saw you two together on the couch, that one night. You both looked so peaceful, sleeping all curled up together, and I knew. A mother always knows, and I knew that you two had finally pulled your heads out of your asses and admitted your feelings for one another. I bet you thought that he had been the one to pull the blanket over you, but it was actually him who thanked me when I accidentally woke me up. He spent the next day apologizing, telling me his intentions were nothing but pure, and that he loved you. I told him that I'd known for ages, and that he had my blessing.”

Eggsy wiped away his tears and turned to him mom, finally tearing his eyes away from the fresh mound of dirt headed by a tombstone. “Why are you telling me this, mum?” he asked, voice small and cracking as he spoke.

Michelle let a few tears of her own fall and pulled Eggsy in for a tight hug, kissing the top of his head to try to comfort him. He clung to her in a way that he hadn't since he was a baby, and she let him sob hysterically into her dress. “You needed to know how much he loved you, baby. You need to remember that. Don't let it destroy you like it did me.” She rubbed his back and let herself fall to the ground with him, rocking him and making soft soothing noises. “It'll never stop hurting, baby, but don't let him become a ghost. Keep him with you, or the grief will destroy you. You don't deserve to end up like I did, baby.”

Eggsy hugged her closer, pulling away to gasp for air before letting himself curl back up into her.

Whenever he ran out of tears, he'd pull away and ask for some time with Harry's grave, but for now, it was best to simply rest here and cry in his mother's arms.

~ ~ ~

Eight years later, two years under the expiration date that the doctors had said he'd get if he was lucky, Gary “Eggsy” Unwin took his final breath surrounded by the people he loved, mind numb with pain and medicine. He was buried next to one Harry Hart.

**Author's Note:**

> If this hurt, I am so sorry  
> It hurt me writing it  
> If it didn't hurt, please leave me a comment so that I can better write angst in the future


End file.
